Surrogacy: How To Explain The Baby Is Not Yours!


The decision to become a surrogate is both selfless and wonderful. Your choice will change the lives of the intended parents forever! As your pregnancy begins to shop, friends and neighbors will naturally stop and offer their congratulations and best wishes. However, some of these encounters may transform into awkward moments because not everyone understands or accepts the surrogacy process or why you would decide to help another couple in this way.

Listed below are tips recommended by a leading center for surrogacy and egg donation for navigating the complex scenario of how to explain the baby is not yours:

Determine for Yourself: Is it Necessary for them to Know?

As your surrogacy pregnancy progresses, friends and family will surround you throughout your journey. When the time feels right, you may want to disclose your process. You can expect them to be surprised and maybe even shocked with lots of questions being thrown your way. But with time, most will understand and support your decision. However, divulging your decision to pursue surrogacy is not required for strangers or acquaintances. It might stress you out unnecessarily.

Begin With Your Team

As a gestational surrogate, you likely have a supportive team around you who understands your decision. This will include your spouse/partner, friends, family members, or even a support group. In any case, begin with those whom you feel closest to. These same individuals are more likely to safeguard you from people with limited/negative perceptions about the surrogacy process. 

Familiarize Yourself with Awkward Questions

To become a surrogate, one of the criteria you must meet is that you’ve had a baby of your own. This experience prepares you for what to expect during and after pregnancy. In the case of a surrogacy pregnancy (especially if it’s your first), you will be asked many questions, especially regarding your reasons for pursuing this path and how you feel. Some awkward questions you can expect to be asked and how you may handle them include:

How was this baby conceived?

This is an indication that the person doesn’t know the process of surrogacy or IVF. Explain what surrogacy is and who the genetic parents of the baby are.

How can you give up this baby?

You can answer this question with a touch of humor. Stated, “This isn’t my baby. I’m just the babysitter.” You may also say that since you’ve had a baby, you understand what a blessing it is and want the same experience for couples who cannot safely have a baby of their own. 

What does your family think of your decision?

If you’re only friends with the person, say, “My family supports my decision.” If this person is someone you’re familiar with and feel comfortable talking to, you can explain what you stated to your family. 

What are they paying you?

Unfortunately, the media is to be blamed for this question. The number of celebrities pursuing surrogacy has gone up, and media coverage about the compensation involved has been ferocious. As a surrogate yourself, you do not have to disclose compensation information. Explain your reasons for wanting to help another. This is a sufficient explanation! 

Are you interested in becoming a surrogate? Get in touch with a leading center for surrogacy and egg donation today. Contact RiteOptions.

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